This list was suggested by the Independent magazine’s editor, Mike Higgins, when he saw that Rio Ferdinand’s memoir was called ‘#2Sides’. Ben Stanley nominated ‘Auto Da Fay’, by Fay Weldon, while Michael Crick nominated ‘It’s About A Ball’, by Alan Ball, but those are both superb.
- ‘Losing My Virginity’ by Richard Branson. Nominated by John McTernan.
- ‘They Made a Monkee out of Me’ by Davy Jones. From Chris White.
- ‘Momentum’ by Mo Mowlam Lovely author; appalling play on words. Suggested by Tom Doran.
- ‘If I Did It’ by OJ Simpson. On grounds of distaste rather than lack of taste. From Issy Flamel.
- ‘Rags to Richie’ by Shane Richie. From The G-Man.
- ‘In the Time of Nick’ by Nick Owen. Nearly brilliant by the newsreader. Nominated by Sam Freedman.
- ‘Fan Dabi Dozi’ by the Krankies. To compound the horror, the foreword is by Max Bygraves. Issy Flamel again.
- ‘Watt’s My Name’ by boxer Jim Watt. Nominated by someone going under the name “And Pseudoreality Wins”.
- ‘Tosh’ by John Toshack. Footballer’s memoir nominated by Alan Beattie, who adds, “Though not as awful as his book of poetry (really), Gosh It’s Tosh.”
- ‘My Booky Wook’, by Russell Brand. The G-Man again. An appeal that this was a reference to A Clockwork Orange was turned down.
First published in the Independent on 14th December 2014.