This list started with a conversation on Twitter. Aric Gilinsky (respectfully) disagreed with Tom Doran’s opinion on the meaning of irony. Tom had said: ‘It means ‘a bit like iron’. Everyone knows that.’ Aric asked: ‘Is this part of a Top 10 false meanings of words that you could totally convince a foreigner are true?’ It is now.
- Oyster A person who overdoes Jewish mannerisms, according to Guy Herbert.
- Sitar A guitar on which you sit, reckons Kit Marsden.
- Gullible “Many years ago, when asked by my little sister the meaning of the word, I told her it was a shade of blue,” says Alan Robertson, helpfully.
- Lampoon Noun. A tool for whaling at night. From Elliot Adams.
- Discontent A marquee put up for a party, insists Robertson.
- Glacier More glacé; for example: “all cherries are glacé, but some are glacier than others”, suggests Marsden.
- Disorder Verb. To cancel an Amazon purchase, says Jack Blackburn.
- Timid Central Yorkshire. See also, Tabby: big church in Yorkshire; Tissues: important matters in Yorkshire. Each suggested by Tom Joyce.
- Antidisestablishmentarianism The movement for banning insults in restaurants, led by Tom Doran.
- Slippery Adjective. Like a slipper, says Lee “Budgie” Barnett.
Originally published in the Independent on 26th September 2014